Over the past few days a friend from high school has been visiting. I realized yesterday that I had developed a feeling of frustration and impatience whenever I was around him. This was troubling, for he hadn’t actually done anything to upset me and is someone I deeply care about. When I began to acknowledge these negative emotions, I was immediately reminded of particular readings I had done in my research of visionary experiences. In The Sacred Heritage: The Influence of Shamanism on Analytical Psychology by Steven H. Wong, a chapter is dedicated to the concept of the “felt vision.” According to this text, an integral step to experiencing the felt vision is to follow one’s instinctual feeling at every moment. By relating one’s feelings or emotions to the wisdom of their personality, a deeper connection with the self is formed. “Acting” and “being” are united, resulting in a fuller sense of life for the individual.
Instead of pushing these unnerving emotions away for the sake of social comfort, I decided to communicate my feelings to him. I began to realize that my frustration had nothing to do with my friend after provoking the initially awkward conversation. When explaining how transformed I felt since Pine Ridge, it became clear that my emotions were arising because I was less able to connect with this person from my past, particularly high school, experiences. This relationship from the past within the context of my new life at college emphasizes the fresh perspectives I have developed over the last month.
During my research on visionary realms I found wise pieces of advise from Lakota writers; in order to connect with the spirit world, one must offer only truth, sincerity and simplicity from within. These values should be offered to everyone and everything around me. By sharing my spiritual experiences of last week and how they have formed me into the person I am at this moment, I feel relieved of negativity. Mutually acknowledging that we have changed and that our relationship is not the same is comforting. There is no doubt that this openness has been positive for both of us.
Pushing aside my own emotions is an unhealthy habit that I am beginning to let go of. I now understand that following my intuition and remaining openly communicative about my feelings is vital to the success of any relationship I form.