An Interview with Growing Pains

Forever ago, I sat down with Oregon band Growing Pains to talk about their music, inspirations, and friendship. The band consists of Carl (guitar and vocals), Kalia (bass and main vocals), Jack (guitar and vocals), and Kyle (drums).

Throughout the many years they’ve spent playing shows in Eugene and Portland, touring across the west coast, and creating together, they have fun. And their fun is contagious. Growing Pains has an electric and captivating stage presence, no matter the venue. Having opened for major artists such as Franz Ferdinand and Beabadoobee, and with 15k monthly Spotify listeners, Growing Pains is slowly reaching a new height–and never losing sight of their DIY beginnings. They continue to be supported by a huge base of dedicated fans and friends within the cities they split, and have rooted themselves as one of the major bands to watch in the area. Growing Pains mixes all sorts of sounds and inspirations into their very own unique genre blend. Their most recent release was an EP in early 2023, and they released a full length album in 2020. Rumor has it, a new album should be on its way….

Here’s what was on the record…as for off the record, I guess history will never know. Maybe just Kyle and the bouncer.

(Edited for clarity and length. All photos shot on Ilford HP5 film on a Nikon F3, developed with CC Darkroom Club)

LN: Ok, I want to start at the beginning…So you guys met at School of Rock right? How old were you guys when you all first met?

Kalia: We were all 15 and Jack was 16. Yeah,

Jack: Yeah I met Kyle when we were 14 years old, something like that. At school of rock though.

Kyle: We all kind of joined together… I think when we were either sophomores or juniors in high school. And like, just started playing together there. Started out just like jamming some riffs that Jack and Carl had kind of come up with which are now the riffs to what is now Sancho and Winter Broke. But we just kind of started with that and then Kalia was on the same King Gizzard show with us for School of Rock, and she was a really good singer and bassist and we were like, she seems really cool, we should ask her to be in the band. And then it was a band.

Carl: We all really liked Joyce Manor, and Blink 182. And we would play a lot of Joyce Manor and Blink 182 songs together. The first time I ever played music with Kyle I didn’t realize how good of a drummer he was, and then for like, half an hour, I just kept on naming Blink songs because he could play all of them from memory. And I felt like–it was just so impressive to me. And I was like, hell yeah, we should play music together. Kyle and Jack had been in bands before, but for me it was the first time I played music with people who I shared a taste with which was really special for me.

LN: Yeah, that’s really cool to come out of that. I never would have guessed that some you guys got to start with King Gizzard. I remember the first time I saw you guys in Eugene, hearing some Blink 182 cover.

Kyle: Yeah, that sounds about right.

Kalia: When I joined I was under the impression I was just gonna be the bassist and then slowly over time I started singing more and more.

LN: Oh then who was the original singer?

Kyle: Jack did sing on a couple songs. But I think we knew that we wanted Kalia to be the singer before she was like chill with being–

Carl: We knew it before she did. [all laugh]. Yeah. I guess when we first started playing in Eugene we kind of didn’t have enough songs to play a 45 minute set so we would just randomly throw in a Blink cover. We opened up for Levitation Room ones who are this really cool dream pop band. And we did a Blink cover in our set. It felt really weird. We’re opening up for this band that’s like, closer to Beach House than us and they’re really great. It just felt so strange ripping that for their set.

LN: Yeah, I was there actually to see Levitation Room and I remember pretty much everyone left once they had seen you guys… It’s awesome that people in Eugene really support you guys. How does that feel being in that Eugene and Portland music scene?

Kyle: People are super supportive, it’s cool to see a lot of familiar faces at every show. There’s a very dedicated group of people that come out to Mission Theater or WOW hall or our house shows and it’s just a very cool community. And, it’s cool to watch that grow into something like last year when we played Mission Theater for the first time. We were kind of nervous, like, oh, shit, is this too big for us? Will people come? Is it gonna feel empty? And it was full. And we were like, holy shit. That’s awesome. And then just recently, we played Hawthorne theater. And it was the same kind of deal. We were like, is this too big of a step? And like, did it sell out? I think it was, it was big. So it was just really cool to see that come together and be like, wow, there’s a really core community there. And it keeps growing and it seems like people are really excited about DIY stuff right now.

Carl: The first time we played a show where I noticed someone was singing along to one of our songs it freaked me out so much. I was just in such disbelief that I think I kind of started disassociating because I was like, this doesn’t make sense. Why do you know the words to our songs?

Kalia: I know. It’s weird to interact with people in Portland and Eugene that are really a part of the music scene because I feel like, on my own, I don’t feel super emotionally connected to the “music scene.” But people will ask, oh, where do you get your gear? Like, they’ll ask technical questions about the music and stuff. And I just, I don’t really always have the answers for that, because I’m not super smart about music theory necessarily. It feels nice playing shows where there’s a bunch of people and familiar faces and stuff, but I don’t feel particularly attached to the music scene itself. But I think it’s really cool to be a part of anyways.

Carl: I feel like people kind of dichotomize the idea of the music scene in Portland and Eugene, like, sometimes people will ask us questions about it. And it seems like they think that like the music scene in Eugene, is this like, exclusive club that we all have a membership to. And it’s like, no, it’s just hanging out–

Kalia: I hang out there when we’re playing shows and stuff. Just like at my house.

Carl: Yeah. It’s really casual. And I feel like sometimes people lose track of how casual a DIY music scene is. Like, I don’t know, it’s just kind of funny.

LN: That’s funny. But like, being friends with so many people who are also in other bands, that’s pretty cool. I mean, yeah, sure, it’s not like some exclusive club. But it has got to influence your creativity and musicality. Do you have anything to say on that?

Kalia: I think I used to not really want to interact with other people in the music scene that much because it freaked me out. Like I just kind of wanted to keep to myself in that way. But in the last couple of years I’ve been having a lot of fun making connections with people. Like genuine friendship connections and stuff with other people in bands and it’s fun to just work on little solo projects or anything here and there with people. Just combining different people’s ideas and stuff. Like, I have a friend, I just will go to his studio space and fuck around and make random music and it’s really fun. It brings me a lot of joy.

Carl: For me, it’s like, being friends with a lot of musicians is a huge source of inspiration. I’ll become friends with someone, and they’ll be like, Oh, I make music. And I’m like, oh, what? And they’ll show me their music and it’s the most incredible thing I’ve heard, despite the fact that I found out about it because they’re my friend. And then I kind of get this feeling where I’m like, oh, if someone like that I’m just casually friends with can make this incredible work of art, then I can do the same. But I don’t know, it kind of gets rid of the stigma that you have to be some superstar to make good art or moving art.

Kalia: The last thing is there are so many underrated bands and projects in Portland and Eugene, I can’t stress that enough. I don’t understand how some of them aren’t more popular. But that’s just a general statement. Very underrated.

Carl: And some of those amazing projects are full of people who are so young, which is crazy. I found out about this incredible band the other week, called the Black Ice Machine, and they’re all in high school, but they’re making music with the emotional depth of a 30 year old.

Kyle: Even Rhododendron, I mean those guys…

Carl: Jousting? Yeah Jousting too.

Kyle: Yeah, it’s cool to see people getting started young. You don’t have to be a certain person or a certain age to make something exciting.

LN: In a similar sense: Where does your guys’ creativity come from, like, either musical or otherwise?

Carl: I think recently when I’m like, directly influenced by a piece of music, I often feel like what I create is to read a bit of that original piece. So recently, I’ve been more into trying to source inspiration from non-musical art. Like during the last EP we were recording at Kalia’s house and her roommate Damien had a bunch of huge coffee table art books with like a bunch of great expressionists. And I was really into just opening them up, and looking at some painting, and then trying to make a sound that felt the same way that the painting made me feel. Because I just feel like that process brings out more of your own intentions with creativity than just listening to music and trying to recreate that sound. With the transfer of medium, I feel like something new appears.

Kalia: I’m trying to get creative inspiration from things other than painful experiences. I’m trying to sway away from that. Because in the past, like debilitating emotional pain, you know, when you just like, can’t do or think about anything, and you’re just kind of stuck… that’s a lot of where the lyrics that I’ve written come from. I’m trying to include different experiences in ways I’ve come out of situations or like in better mindsets. I’m trying to write music that could possibly, I guess, manifest better feelings in life. Because if I think about those things over and over and over, I’m forced to think about them and relive them all the time. So I don’t know. I’m hoping for our next project. I can write some more positive lyrics. Or neutral.

Carl: I feel like so much of our music or like the lyrics are kind of just kind of inspired by like the idea that there’s strength in vulnerability. And I think there is, but I do think that that concept can go too far sometimes. I feel like at least for me, it can lead me to devote myself to really bad feelings because I feel I need to really devour myself with these awful things in order to create something impactful. I feel the same as Kalia, like trying to move away from that–moving away from sourcing inspiration from negative experiences–and trying to sublimate positive experiences into the same type of moving art that I want to create.

Kalia: I’m trying to find something that’s not even positive or negative, but just like things that exist as they are.

LN: On that same note,what does your songwriting process look like? How do you guys start building things together as a band?

Jack: Yeah it starts with either Carl or I writing, like the chord progressions, riffs and stuff like that. And just like the general feel, the skeleton of the song, and then we’ll bring it into practice. And we all like to kind of break it apart. Every member–I feel like it’s a pretty democratic songwriting process. You know, everyone has a chance to voice their opinion on a certain section. And from there, usually, the song is a product of something that we all like. But I don’t know, my songwriting, for me, has been different lately. Because I used to just write to try to write songs that would be like, super fun to play live. And I think that’s important, at least for me, but I have been switching to trying to still keep that but also write based on like, a feeling–positive or negative. Just kinda like, take how I’m feeling and write something that expresses that in that moment, I guess.

Carl: I think, at least for the last EP, besides What Are The Odds and Lemon Lime, we did the instrumentals and recorded the full instrumentals and then we did the lyrics after. Which isn’t to say that the lyrics were an afterthought or anything, but I think the lyrics were influenced by the music rather than like the musical structure being influenced by the lyrics. And for this upcoming release, I’ve been more into that idea of having us craft that skeleton of a song and then write lyrics. And then go back and change the song to fit the lyrics so it’s more of this like back and forth process, rather than like, a one sided street.

Kalia: Yeah, Carl and I have been really trying to break down songs. I pulled out some lyrics that I wrote a year and a half, two years ago, and Carl will send me stuff. I don’t know, it’s inspiring to me in that way to be able to write instrumentals once Carl and I have an established idea of a lyrical structure for a song. That’s been a cool new approach we’ve been working on in the past few weeks.

Carl: I think in the past with lyrics too I’ve been–I mean, even though I mean Kalia and I both write lyrics I don’t sing them–but I’ve still been kind of scared of vulnerability. And because of that, I think I tried to abstract everything I said. And, because of that, I feel like there wasn’t a lot of logical coherency in our songs. Recently, I’ve been more into the idea of writing about something rather than just word vomit. And I think that’s a lot more challenging. Sometimes with friends, someone will pick a topic and then we’ll have to write a poem about it in 60 seconds. I’ve been doing a lot of exercises like that to help with the process of writing lyrics that are actually about something.

Kyle: I feel like you guys said that pretty well. But yeah, I mean, I just like playing songs that are fun live. I think, at least my process or my place in the songwriting process, is just kind of like writing forms or writing pieces of songs that I can imagine a crowd moving to–whether that’s like jumping or having some kind of response. Jack and I think come from similar spaces in terms of songwriting where it’s just about like, what are people going to feel in a live setting?

Carl: I feel like the thing that you [Kyle] really contribute to the songwriting process is seeing the end vision from afar. You always have these ideas; we worked on a song recently where you were like, we got to play the verse and chorus at the same time for the end. And I was like, that doesn’t make sense. Like, you can’t do that. But it’s like, Oh, it worked! But anyways, I feel like you just have a very good vision for the big picture.

Kalia: I lean on Kyle for trust a lot. I think it was like two years ago, you just said, “Kalia, trust.” And I have to verbally ask you to just tell me to trust you. And I do.

Carl: I always look to you to know if it’s good. I certainly like when you try a new fill. If it’s bad, I’ll kinda side-eye. But if it’s good, which it always is…We experiment. Yeah, experimental band.

Kyle: We have a lot of fun together, whether it’s writing or playing.

LN: It really seems like that. And it really speaks through, like, as far as I’ve seen, everything that you guys do.

Kalia: We’re super tight. Just like as homies. If we never played in a band, I think we’d still be hanging out.

LN: You guys have known each other for so long, like, being such close friends. Having such a special experience of writing music together. What’s that like?

Kyle: We know too much. [laughter]. It’s so fun. We bond so much on these trips. Like, that’s the best part about playing music now. Like, obviously, we did three or four years together as a band without ever really playing outside of Oregon. And so now that we have more opportunity to do so and go on these tours, even if it’s like, a short trip to Seattle, or if it’s like, you know, doing more of the full West Coast or if it’s Treefort like, it’s so much fun. Playing the show is fun, it’s a highlight, but just being in the car and hanging out is honestly just like free vacation for us. I would love to keep doing this forever. Because it’s so much fun. So yeah, I think we were very lucky that we get along so well. But I think it’s also because everyone is just like a chill ass person and like, we just put in the effort to not be an asshole. Hopefully. You know what I mean?

Carl: We really don’t overthink shit. The biggest fight is always like McDonald’s or Taco Bell after the gig.

LN: What’s next for you guys? I hear an album is in the works.

Kyle: It’s hopefully a song out for the summer or during the summer. Tour in August. And then an album to come after that. Recording in September. We know that, but then who knows.

Jack: But it’s a full thing.

Carl: Double–no–triple record; 30 songs; concept album; rock opera. Short film too–directed by A24.

Jack: The whole thing.

Kalia: 15 remixes.

Kyle: We’re doing a TikTok fast version and TikTok slow version for every single song. 8D audio.

LN: Nightcore remix?

Kyle: Yeah. Why don’t we do all that? What would it take to get that all done?

Carl: The Walmart edition? That would be lit.

Kyle: We can’t even decide between Taco Bell or McDonalds.

Carl: Actually, I take that back about the biggest fight being Taco Bell versus McDonald’s. Once we had like a 200 text message band conversation on how to capitalize our song titles in the EP.

Jack: Yeah, I was pissed because I got off of work and all of a sudden it was 300 texts.

Carl: I was trying to bring back sentence case.