{"id":5801,"date":"2020-05-20T23:18:23","date_gmt":"2020-05-21T05:18:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/sites.coloradocollege.edu\/blockfeatures\/?p=5801"},"modified":"2020-05-20T23:21:17","modified_gmt":"2020-05-21T05:21:17","slug":"so-what-now","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sites.coloradocollege.edu\/blockfeatures\/2020\/05\/20\/so-what-now\/","title":{"rendered":"So, what now?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Excerpt from <\/span>Inside Out & Back Again<\/span><\/i> by Thanhha Lai:<\/span><\/p>\n

More is Not Better<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

I now understand<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

when they make fun of my name,<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

yelling <\/span><\/i>ha-ha-ha<\/span> down the hall<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

when they ask if I eat dog meat,\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

barking and chewing and falling down laughing<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

when they wonder if I lived in the jungle with tigers,<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

growling and stalking on all fours.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I understand<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

Because Brother Khoi<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

nodded into my head<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

on the bike ride home<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

when I asked if kids<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

said the same things<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

at his school.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I understand<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

and wish<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

I could go back<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

to not understanding.\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

September 19<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

This year, I felt a different kind of sadness – a type of fleeting emotion sprinkled with a touch of hopelessness…and perhaps helplessness too. I\u2019m not quite certain which one, so let\u2019s say both. Why? Because I don\u2019t know what to do with what I\u2019ve learned about American imperialism.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The America I once knew was bright, especially to people who had left their motherland. For us, she was a new beginning. She meant opportunities, a better life, and success. But who is this America that represents life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness for?<\/span><\/p>\n

As an immigrant who has settled on the territory of the Tongva peoples, I am thankful to call this place my home. As a student at Colorado College, I want to acknowledge that this is the land of the Jicarilla Apache, Cheyenne, and Ute peoples on which I am living, breathing, and learning about settler colonialism and its legacies on the indigenous and Asian communities. I am very grateful for these opportunities and spaces to unlearn, question, and share with my fellow peers and professors, especially since the privilege I have to sit and consume information comes with a cost that people before me had shed blood for.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Throughout these blocks, I quickly realized that I am still living in an America that doesn\u2019t belong to everyone. As I come to understand that violent histories just repeat themselves, the light at the end of the tunnel seems to flicker and fade as the image of America as a safe space for dreamers shatter. But so what? What am I going to do after learning that America has dispossessed Indigenous peoples, enslaved Africans, incarcerated Japanese Americans, criminalized Muslim Americans, refused refugees, hated Chinese Americans, and more? <\/span><\/p>\n

At this moment, ignorance seems so blissful. Similar to how Ha, the main character from <\/span>Inside Out & Back Again<\/span><\/i> by Thanhha Lai, wished she could go back to not understanding the racist comments her classmates made, I sometimes wonder if it would be better for me to not know. All too often, I wish I could hide under my blanket and fall head over heels for fictional rom-com protagonists. Out of sight, out of mind – right? Not really. No matter how much I want to escape thinking about \u201cso, what now?\u201d, it’s constantly in the back of my mind. While understanding English made Ha angry, it also empowered her. I loved how she later used English to stand up for and protect herself. Certainly, I don\u2019t want to turn a blind eye to the pain that nameless generations of marginalized communities have faced and are facing. I have no idea what I am exactly searching or aiming for, but I know that even if learning makes me feel sad, angry, and hopeless, it\u2019s a much needed foundation. I also need to know what I am fighting for – whatever that may be – right?<\/span><\/p>\n

Side note: Originally, I wanted to write a post on cliches\/old sayings\/ idioms that I would use to describe the literature we read. However, I decided that it just makes more sense to include it in this post, so if you noticed, there are several cliches\/old sayings\/ idioms here…<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Excerpt from Inside Out & Back Again by Thanhha Lai: More is Not Better I now understand   when they make fun of my name, yelling ha-ha-ha down the hall   when they ask if I eat dog meat,\u00a0 barking and chewing and falling down laughing   when they wonder if I lived in the … <\/p>\n

Continue reading “So, what now?”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1407,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[10,371],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5801","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-block8","category-en380","entry"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1RtXj-1vz","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sites.coloradocollege.edu\/blockfeatures\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5801","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sites.coloradocollege.edu\/blockfeatures\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sites.coloradocollege.edu\/blockfeatures\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sites.coloradocollege.edu\/blockfeatures\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1407"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sites.coloradocollege.edu\/blockfeatures\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5801"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/sites.coloradocollege.edu\/blockfeatures\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5801\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5804,"href":"https:\/\/sites.coloradocollege.edu\/blockfeatures\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5801\/revisions\/5804"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sites.coloradocollege.edu\/blockfeatures\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5801"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sites.coloradocollege.edu\/blockfeatures\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5801"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sites.coloradocollege.edu\/blockfeatures\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5801"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}