I believe in a universal energy. I believe in the soul, I believe in spirits. I wanted so badly to believe in power Sweat Lodge and the other ceremonies we participated in may have held. I believe Big Mike was talking to spirits, I even believe I saw spirits. But even witnessing this universal energy isn’t enough for me. Humans are sensuous beings. It’s crazy how easily we believe certain things, and how difficult it is to believe others. I don’t believe in the self as many understand it. I believe we as humans have a unique energy that is inherently tied to all other energy. We are the universe experiencing itself for a period of time in human form. There are other forms of experience, that much is obvious. How can we be so focused on our individual experience? Is it possible for me to know someone elses experience? I think anything is possible. Some people just understand people and I think it’s silly to argue that we know ourselves best. At least at this age. I think that is the goal. Understanding this individual energy and where it fits into the universe. But I’m quick to judge anyone that says they know themselves. I don’t think one can know themselves until they know they are a part of the universe, that is the first step. Recognizing your community. We live in a physical realm, in the third dimension. Our community consists of physical beings who know only the present. That’s the energy our experience most directly relates to. Then we have to understand that there are other communities. Less accessible, because their energy is on another wavelength. Either it’s not physical, or it’s out of the third dimension living in a different layer of spacetime. I’m really speaking to myself with all this. I believe it’s possible to have the whole universe be your community. All the energy that was present at the big bang, and all the energy we can’t yet measure. There is a lot there. But we have a tendency to make our communities very very small. And I believe we do this because we have fear in our minds. Our hearts do not inherently fear, I believe the heart was created to love. I understand that when you get nervous or scared your heart beats faster, I don’t think that is a bad thing, I think it’s only natural. I believe the issue is our brain telling our hearts that the sensation is a bad thing. Of course you’re going to have an accelerated heart rate when you encounter a bear in the woods. But I believe that our brains make things worse. They tell us that the bear wants to kill us, immediately, without pause, we become incredibly scared. I think our hearts can tell us to trust the bear in ways our brain cannot. I believe faith should come from the heart, not the mind. I believe that is a key distinction in ritualistic practice. If it’s done from the heart it is sacred, if it’s done from the mind it’s a practice. The mind is the reason so many religions have fallen to corruption, people began thinking they only had to practice the tradition rather than believe in its message. I love the moments when I believe with all my heart that I am a part of this universe. But my brain likes to get in the way of things because the brain only knows the sensuous. The heart knows the universe.
Obviously I have never studied the brain or the heart. I’m not a neuroscientist, I haven’t even taken a science course at CC. This post is a rambling, I didn’t read over it, or try to lay out my thoughts in any coherent form. I tried to write from my heart. That’s how I try to live my life, and it’s not always a good thing. It certainly doesn’t help with the grammar or spelling or flow of my writing. These are simply my feelings and I’m willing to speak on them though I’d rather it be in person.