WARNING: A little cynicism to round out our pathological optimism.
Look, I love a good dancing Channing Tatum as much as the next person. And yes, I am more likely to watch a 30 second video of that over a five minute one. I will probably pay to see Alice Through the Looking Glass in theaters because the spectacle is that much more awesome on a big screen. But when I hear someone say that her job is to ask a movie star to clog so she can post a video that gets the most views, I get squeamish. When Todd Cherniawsky (the art director I interviewed) tells me that most of the elaborate sets created for films are scrapped at the end of the day, I am uncomfortable. When Greg Foster talks about the intricate and expensive process of turning a film into an IMAX film, I am confused. And when I think about the number of people sitting in a sound mixing room for eight weeks, basically to make another unbearable car chase, I am kind of sad. (Not that sad.) I, like some of those we’ve spoken with, am disappointed in the moronic nature of humans. But, as mentioned above, I see that nature in myself. It’s human. Everyone has it. And sometimes it feels like the sole purpose of this industry is to make money off it. And to make money off of it they put an extraordinary amount of resources into it.
I have been pleasantly surprised by LA and the Hollywood business, just as I think most of my classmates have. The people we meet are excited to tell us what they do. And much to our relief, their advice about making it in the business seems grounded: work hard, build good relationships with people, do what you love. My guess is that this is good advice for any career pursuit, but it is nice to hear that about an industry that seems so inaccessible and harsh. I have had a very positive experience here. I have loved every second of it, and I think I will seriously pursue a career in film. But sometimes it is important to take a step back. What is it that matters? Why are we here? Personally, creating things is what I love, and I hope to create art that has a positive influence. But when is putting that much money, and resources, and time into entertainment justified? How far does it go before its kind of sick? I really really really hate to pull the starving children in Africa card. Things are never that black and white, ever. But I don’t think I have ever felt so figuratively far away from my time overseas as when discussing the millions of dollars that go into building a set that will just be thrown away later.
beautiful. It is also empty. I follow a voice to a tiny side chapel. A priest is reading a prayer in front of about six people. I have, of course, arrived late. My entrance is not subtle as I awkwardly make my way to a chair in the front. Apparently evening prayer is not a widely attended event, even on Easter. Towards the end of the service the priest starts reading the prayers of the people. Basically, they read aloud the names of people living and dead that you/ the church collectively, is supposed to say a prayer for. I listen for his name, though I know he passed before I was born, too long ago for it to be read. I am surprised. People with HIV/AIDS are mentioned twice, once for those living with it, once for those who have died from it. I wonder at the impact the disease had on this church’s community, its psyche. The impact it still has. This is my Uncle Christopher’s church, and though his name is not read specifically, he is one of the many who has died of AIDS. The priest pauses for a moment of silence, and I spend some time with my uncle. My version of Easter.