I really hated L.A. for a long time, and now I’m starting to like it, and it’s scary

I realized something a few days ago: Hollywood is really cool. This does not sound at all profound, but it was an epiphany for me. You see, I grew up in L.A. I was born in Culver City and I went to high school in Santa Monica, thus I view L.A. with that certain disdain we reserve for our hometown. Growing up here, L.A. was not cool or hip; it was simply where I grew up. More than anything, I was irritated by the questions that being from L.A. invited. No, I don’t live next to any movie stars. No, I don’t know any movie stars. No, I really don’t live anywhere near the Hollywood sign. Somehow, being from L.A. immediately labeled me as something, whether that is “cool” or “indie” or “spoiled,” and I really didn’t like that. In retrospect, I think I didn’t like it because I didn’t understand it.

So, a few days ago, when my perception of Hollywood shifted, it was very odd for me. I was appreciating something I held in such contempt for so long. I think this shift happened because of an important detail; previously, I had been viewing Hollywood and the “industry” from afar whereas now, we are studying Hollywood and the “industry” from the inside. We are being taken in and shown the strings, as Clay likes to say, when, as viewers, we’re only supposed to be seeing the puppet.

If anything, I think about the quote at the very top of our syllabus by F. Scott Fitzgerald: “You can take Hollywood for granted like I did, or you can dismiss it with the contempt we reserve for what we don’t understand. It can be understood too, but only dimly and in flashes. Not half a dozen men have ever been able to keep the whole equation of pictures in their heads.”

About Nina Murray

I'm a senior Feminist and Gender Studies and Southwest Studies double major at Colorado College. I'm currently writing my thesis on the racial and transnational hierarchies existing at a birth center on the U.S. Mexico border.

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