Review of Mr. CC 2013

          On the night of Wednesday the 11th of December, Colorado College’s Kappa Kappa Gamma Sorority held the annual Mr. CC Male Beauty Pageant at Shove Memorial Chapel. Shove was a prime location for the event, providing a beautiful backdrop, wide stage, long, central runway, and room for a big audience. However the great flaw of the night was the judges’ placement on the stage, sitting behind the contestants and only having a view of their backs and butts to make their score decisions off of. The crowd, predominantly female, nearly filled the chapel and gave life to the building through consistent applause and laughter.

          The event served as a nonprofit fundraiser, as members of the sponsoring sorority paced the aisles of the audience with donation jars for two charities: Reading is Fundamental, which promotes the importance of literacy to children in under-served communities, and TESSA, which works to combat domestic and sexual violence in Colorado Springs. The eleven contestants taking part in the event were sponsored by student groups, each giving $50 towards the fundraiser.

          The format of the event followed the procedures of a typical beauty pageant, starting with introduction biographies in formal wear, followed by swimwear, talent and Q&A’s. The event was very effective in its satire of the average American beauty pageant, mimicking its structure and mocking its nature. While beauty pageants mainly focus on the physical beauty of their contestants and less significantly incorporate intelligence and talent into the final scores, Mr. CC showcased personality and humor, and scores reflected the contestants’ overall abilities to entertain. In the end, first year student Wake Smith was crowned the most confident, humorous and engaging, followed by sophomore Sergio Portesan and junior Austin Howlett. The crowd favorite, Tom Crandall, wowed the audience throughout the night but surprisingly finished fourth by the judges’ vote, causing a sweeping upset to undermine an otherwise successful night.

         The two hosts, Becca Manning and Phoebe Gallo, presented each section enthusiastically and transitioned between them perfectly with witty parallels to Miss Universe Pageant contestants’ quotes. For example, in transition between the talent and interview portions, Manning stated, “when explaining the Confucius quote, ‘learning without thought is labor lost,’ the 2009 Miss Panama answered, ‘Confucius was one of whom invented confusion.’ Let’s hope our guys impart some equally profound wisdom tonight!” However, the few times there were technical difficulties in regards to the music, the hosts fell short in ‘killing time’ and keeping the audience entertained. Instead, they appeared flustered and allowed the room to wait in silence until the problems were fixed.

          The introductions of the eleven male contestants were well executed and amusing, illustrating each contestants humor and creativity. Crandall’s biography read, “when he grows up, he hopes to study bee’s knees; his favorite part of the body in the animal kingdom,” earning him long-lasting laughter in the audience and even amongst the hosts and other contestants on stage. Reflecting the entirety of Wake Smith’s performance, his biography displayed satirical pretension, as it concluded, “hailing from Austin, Texas: The Man, the Myth, the Freshman Who Can Be Seen Air Drumming Incorrectly Around Campus- Mr. Dr. James Wakefield Smith IV”. One biography that fell short was that of Howlett, weakened by excessive praise and bad taste: “When Austin was a mere 2-year-old, he won a Nobel Peace Prize when he stopped Russia from launching a nuclear war…Austin attended the same high school as President Obama and was applauded in receiving one point higher scores in every subject than the current president of the free world”. Nevertheless, what lacked in introductory charm was replenished in the swimsuit and talent portions of the competition.

          Setting the stage for the male contestants swimwear presentations, Gallo referenced 1992 Miss Hawaii, explaining her pride of being American, “we are truly the land of the great. From the rocky shores of Hawaii to the beautiful sandy beaches of Hawaii, America is our home.” The swimsuit section was a full step of eccentricity above the usual pageant competitions, as the contestants embellished the basic speedo with fur coats, gold cowboy hats, and snorkeling gear (just to name a few). Contrary to the spotlight shining on how physically fit and attractive the contestants were, the Mr. CC swimsuit competition allowed the contestants to exhibit their quirkiness, spunk and self-confidence. For that reason, Hawaii-native Austin Howlett stood out from the crowd with his speedo strut, while many other lower scoring contestants appeared self-conscious or boring.

          The talent portion of the event was the most varied in terms of classification, approach and execution. The least amusing of the bunch was AJ Gertswin’s storytelling, when one joke lasted almost five minutes and led to a horribly unfulfilling let down of a punch line. A close second was the questionable ‘talent’ of Milo Phillips, as the audience watched him drink a container of maple syrup, give a thumbs up, and run off stage. Duy Pham’s ‘reverse strip-tease’ was unfortunately upstaged by Smith’s unbelievably impressive ‘getting ready for bed strip-tease’. While the ideas were similar, Wake stole the show with his sassy and sexual dance moves, exaggerating his seductiveness while putting on spider man pajamas, washing his face, brushing his teeth and putting in his retainer. The unsung hero of the night Tom Crandall did in fact lip sync in a fantastic parody of “Baby, It’s Cold Outside”, in which he played the dramatic, enamored female role.

Wake Smith, Mr. CC 2013

          To end an outstanding night of humor and entertainment, each contestant answered a question as a final test of character and charm. Smith answered with eloquence, exaggeration and intensity, discussing the morality of human kind when asked who he would first tell about the discovery of Bigfoot. While his answer, among all his actions, demonstrated self-assurance and animation, I personally found the exuberance to reach the point of irritation. The best response was that of Crandall; when asked the reason for the teardrops on his guitar, he differentiated his own tears from his inability to play Frere Jacques from the tears shed by an old Vietnam veteran who accompanied him in a song and drenched the stage in salty sadness.

         Besides the controversy of the fan favorite Tom Crandall finishing uncrowned, the Mr. CC 2013 was a smashing hit. As witty as it was visually appearing, the event outshined the typical superficiality of the beauty pageant experience and proved the value of intellect and humor over attractiveness. Overall, it was undoubtedly a pleasurable Wednesday evening to those who attended and fulfilling to all involved with its execution.