During my time in Oxford I had a brush with death. I saw my entire life flash before my eyes and for a second I thought I was meeting my demise. Eighteen years isn’t a bad run on this earth statistically speaking, right? Alright, I may be over exaggerating things a little bit. The fact is that my character in St. Hugh’s production of Alice in Wonderland was nearly beheaded by the Queen of Hearts. Character is a generous term; I was really an audience volunteer for a croquet match during the play. Nevertheless, I know that I was essential to the plot and without me there could be no Alice. That’s right Lewis Carol, be thankful. I’ve also discovered on this trip that I have something about me that attracts actors! Maybe it’s the mountain man beard, or maybe it’s my ravishing good looks. Maybe it’s my humble nature! Whatever the reason, it is clear to me that I will be residing among the stars soon at this pace. I was called by the Queen to serve her in a life-sized croquet match where I would be facing my peer Anita Wray in a battle of skill. Anita was no match for my refined abilities, but I was cheated out of my title. I only had to make one more shot from only a few inches away from the final destination. Tragically, I was cheated by the man in the bunny costume who pushed Anita’s ball through the final gate. I know now to never trust muscular men in bunny outfits. Immediately following this low blow that was dealt to me by the bunny-man, it was declared by the Queen that I be executed. I fled off stage in panic, and in my panic I nearly ran into a brick wall. The brief euphoria of preforming in front of a large audience was shortly followed by a depression brought on by fall from stardom. My fifteen minutes of fame may be up, but I know for a fact that my grudge with the bunny-man will be eternal

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